“CABOOSE!” Church shouts from outside their base in Blood Gulch. The team has been there for years now, and has experienced many adventures and happenings. This particular event dealing with their tank, once a normal, driven tank, is now rolling around in front of their base, doing doughnuts. Church watches it do this, feeling a little worried, he didn’t like that the tank kept looking at him with the cannon every so often. Church is a ghost by the way, well an Artificial Intelligence that’s possessing a robot body, but ghost is much more understandable and easier to explain. Caboose comes out of the base, his armor Aqua.
“Hey chicka bum bum,” Caboose starts.
“Caboose,” Church turns around fast, “what is going on here.”
“I don’t know anything about Caboose turning the tank alive. I was just thinking about ladies and how cool it would be if they were…tanks…” The two stare at each other for a brief moment.
“Caboose, what are you doing?” Church asks.
“I am not Caboose,” Caboose replies, “I am the one who could never be as cool as him.” Caboose pauses for a decent amount of time that would raise some kind of concern.
“Caboose?” Church says with a hint of worry.
“I am Tercker.” Caboose finally says with a tone like he is unsure.
“Do you mean Tucker?” Church says with a tone of annoyance and disappointment combined.
“Yes.” Caboose says, continuing, “I was going to say that, but that didn’t sound right.”
“You, you are Tucker?” Church says, testing Caboose’s commitment.
“Yes.” Caboose replies.
Suddenly Tucker comes out of the base. “What is with all the yelling?” Tucker says walking up to the pair. Then he finally sees Caboose in his colors, and turns his head from Caboose to Church.
“Look guys,” Tucker starts, “ I know you have some kind of weird desire to either hang out with me,” looking at Church, “or be me,” looking at Caboose, “but this is not the way to fulfill your desires.”
“That’s not what’s going on genius,” Church replies with disdain.
“Yeah you are not the one Church wants to be with-“
“Shut up.” Caboose is cut off by Church.
“We’re trying to figure out what Caboose did to the tank to make it act crazy,” Church explains to Tucker.
“I thought we established, I am Turkish.” Caboose says annoyed.
“You mean Tucker,” Church corrects him.
“Yes. I am Tucker,” Caboose states as the tank rolls up behind him. Tucker and Church look at each other and back up.
“Captain Caboose, are these two acting insubordinately?” the Tank asks.
“Oh, no. It’s okay, Freckles. We were just having an early morning shoutival. You can go and play,” Caboose commands the tank.
“I will go survey the area for enemies of the Blue team,” Freckles states as he rolls away. Caboose looks at Church and Tucker who are both poking their heads out from some kind of cover.
“Yeah I’m Caboose.” Caboose states.
“We know,” Church and Tucker both respond simultaneously.
“How did this happen?” Church asks angrily.
“How did what happen?” Caboose asks his armor fading back to blue.
“The Fucking Tank now moving on its own,” Tucker says.
In a flashback, Caboose is standing in front of Freckles, then a giant mech, looking at the Tank. “Freckles,” Caboose looks at Freckles, then the tank, “in.”
Present time, Caboose is staring at them again. Clearly, another long period of silence had just passed. “Yeah it wasn’t that hard.”
“What happened to its body?” Tucker asks.
“What?” Caboose replies.
“His body, genius,” Church states, “What happened to Freckles’ original body?”
“Oh that…” Caboose replies cautiously.
Over at Red base, Freckles’ mech body is walking around. “How’s the new body, Lopez?” Sarge inquires.
“Voy a gobernar este cañón y todos ustedes (I will rule this canyon and you all),” Lopez repsonds.
“Heh heh, I knew you’d love it,” Sarge responds, “now it’s time for some target practice. Simmons is Grif ready?”
In the distance Simmons shouts, “He won’t stand still long enough for me paint the target on his armor.”
“Get the fuck away from me, Simmons,” Grif shouts in response. Sarge walks off to sort the two out.
“Just knock him out, Simmons. We can begin the practice when he comes to,” Sarge commands.
“On it,” Simmons obeys. Thwack!
“Ow! Okay, that really hurt.” Grif exclaims.
Tsai-McCarthy press 